The Abyss

Brrrr, CREEPY episode! Much of this whole 45 minutes was like the first 10 minutes of The Price (and I loved that episode, too) - the same foggy/smoky river, the same impending waterfall, the same lush jungle surroundings, very similar mysterious and horrendous natives. This could very well have been another Horde episode if they hadn't been defanged a couple of years ago.

Virgil's poncho reminds me of the Endor outfits that Han, Luke and Leia wore in Return of the Jedi.

The episode opens with two different parallels in one scene; Gabrielle's hunt. One parallel is to The Price, which opened with a peaceful fishing scene. This one opens with a peaceful failed hunting scene (loved the "what kind of wine goes with bark" joke) and a decision to go back to fishing. The second parallel is to the whole rest of the episode: Gabrielle begins the episode hunting, she and the rest of our intrepid crew spend the remainder of the episode being hunted.

Good Lord, I thought the Gab'in Hood look from Them Bones was nice - this one beats Them Bones hands down! (Although given the color, this one may be more a Gabb Scarlet.) Both Xena and Gab sport really nifty dusters at the beginning of the episode... too bad the river mysteriously eats them ten minutes into the episode. Damn you, river!

Small props blooper: Gabrielle hands to Xena her bow and quiver. In the closing shot of the scene, Xena is standing with the quiver, the bow... and an extra arrow clutched with the bow. No wonder she looks bemused.

Loved the makeup and the nasty ribplates on the chest and back of these cannibals. Just one problem - there are no women anywhere in this tribe. Just a bunch of manazons wearing animal heads, wrestling, and eating people. How on earth do they keep the tribe going? I can't picture many boys who would run away from home to join the cannibals.

The whole person-on-a-stick with a nice covering of mud was grrrrross. I was wondering if the giant reed in the mouth was the equivalent of one of those pop-up turkey basters - would the reed shoot out of the cook-ee's mouth when he was done?

The first battle with the cannibals is really cool - everybody was doing lots of twists and flips that looked pretty spiffy. My favorite move, though, was Gab's duck under a cannibal's swing. That was awesome! Sign of the times: Gabrielle almost seems to fare better than Xena against the cannibals at first. (Not for long, though.)

These cannibals must have been really unpopular in the playground, what with their penchant for biting. But they may have a career in pro boxing ahead of them!

Watch the magically disappearing overcoats! I was feeling sorry for both Xena and Gabrielle, having to swim in full leather, armor, and weapons. Then apparently their overcoats decided to show some sympathy and magically melt away. Up until the time Xena swims around the nasty, creepy skeleton to find Gabrielle's floating body, they both have on their overcoats. When Xena grabs Gab and pulls her to the surface, both overcoats are gone. Magic!

Wow, out of nowhere, Xena finally, FINALLY gets hit upside the head with a little guilt about Hope. This is the first time we get a hint that Xena may have seen her mad dog charge at baby Hope from Gabrielle's perspective... about time you woke up and smelled the matricide, Xena. This was an incredibly touching scene - mostly because Lucy not only nailed this scene, she smoothed it out, drilled it a pilot hole, and framed it.

The next shot of our heroines is of Gabrielle lying alone in a puddle in the cave... for a moment I was afraid Xena has gone off on another "She's better off without me" kick and left the poor bard. But instead, we got a new scene that may have been more heartstring-tugging than the first: a now clear-headed Gabrielle tells Xena that it's more important to be buried with her than with her tribe or her family. This could be the most heartfelt "I love you" we've heard yet. What a corker of a scene.

Virgil's a lot more than "a little slow on the uptake", he's practically dead weight. He just saw his friend cooked and eaten in lots of drawn-out attack and spy scenes, and he couldn't figure out why the cannibals would feed him? Daddy's genes crop up at the most inopportune times.

Rubio... well, Rubio annoyed me. He didn't seem to serve any purpose except to tell everyone that the cannibals eat people and his name is Rubio. Over and over again. All with the charm of a carnival barker.

One of the reasons I really liked this episode was because Xena was back to the superhumanly, cheesily improbable - but with just enough effort and work to sell it with a proud flourish. Cliff-climbing 200 feet with 120 pounds of dead weight on the back in the cold and driving rain... YEOW!

Another reason I really liked this episode was because Xena pulls the kind of gutsy, tough decision that the Warrior Princess is famous for. She leaves Gabrielle for the cannibals to find, suffering in the dark while listening to Gab call her for help. But it works... Gab gets warm and dry (albeit mud-covered).

Awesome shot of Xena's war cry with the storm in the background. Fakey, but still awesome. In fact, the whole next few minutes in the storm is one cool shot after another - Xena hiding behind a tree lit by lightning, ducking into those convenient rays of light that show up even in raging night storms to highlight her eyes... it was a fun sequence.

Xena's hopes for the way the cannibals would care for Gabrielle may have been pegged a little high. Their idea of healing was to feed some dope to her, sprinkle sesame seeds and oregano, and do a chant with a really gross baby rattle. Not real helpful.

Xena must be a veteran of the Warrior Corps of Engineers! She puts in a hellacious day's work damming a raging river and rigging it to open with a single ripcord. And all in time for dinner!

Virgil REALLY gets the shaft in this episode. He once again proves pretty useless as he shakes a flimsy cell door that a weakened Gabrielle later takes out with one kick. Loser alert.

How impressive! That shaman guy ate pure fat right in front of Gabrielle to prove how he defies heart disease. Gabrielle acts appropriately horrified.

How exactly does clothing, boots, jewelry, and weapons add to the taste of a bard?

True to XWP form, the episode wraps up with a rip-roarin' fight! Xena shows off her fire-breathing trick of yore (with a little help from computer graphics nowadays), which is especially handy against primitives who haven't learned yet to stop, drop, and roll. And by my count, she took out about 15 guys with one chakram throw, including penning in a half- dozen or so for half the fight.

I was amusing the heck out of myself by providing subtitles for the Cannibal language: "Ruuff! Ruuu! Ruuuf!" "Wait! She'll be tastier with this lovely lemon sauce!" "Ruuuf ruu ruuuf! Ruuf!" "She defies the laws of physics! RUN!" And then the whole thing degenerated into singing "WHOOOO LET THE DOGS OUT?" "RUUF! RUUF! RUF RUF!" and I had to quit.

Two small nits with the closing fight at the waterfall ripcord: 1) where did Virgil get his knife? None of the cannibals seem to carry blades on them, and 2) since when are the sais bladed weapons that can cut a rope (and throat)? Ah well, it was still a good fracas.

Gabrielle's seasons-long angst about warrioring may finally be at an end. Her line "My reflexes are those of a warrior... I'm afraid my judgment's not" may be the wisest summation of her problem yet. In the end of the episode, she says that she will learn to live with her mistakes, which is also a very wise dissection of the issue. Gab's always wanted to be a warrior - including fighting for friends, family, and the Greater Good - but without paying the blood price that entails. Maybe she's finally willing to bear the cost of a necessary battle. She gets past her killing issues in a serious way as she offs three guys or so to get to the waterfall ripcord, and takes her hand in killing off a hundred or two. Maybe she can now take a "Gabrielle, Destroyer of Tribes" title to go with Xena's more fear- inspiring "Destroyer of Nations" moniker.

Return to the Wool-Gatherings.

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